The Comfort We Never Knew We Needed
by rosesaregreen
Summary: Katniss finds a box in Peeta's basement, and finds an old holiday tradition that bonds them together. Oneshot written for Prompts on Panem: Holidays in Panem Challenge 2014. Canon.


_I know it's been awhile since I've posted anything but this is my first ever PIP! I hope you all like it and have a great holidays! :D _

* * *

><p>The staleness of the air in the basement of Peeta's house was a true testament to how abandoned it had become. He spent most of his days and nights in Katniss' house, majority of his clothing resting in tandem within her own closet. She was sitting on the steps, her hand in her hands due from severe boredom. He wouldn't allow her to help him bring up the rest of his things. "Why am I even here?" She had said in annoyance. He had simply smiled at her in that way he always does when he thinks her annoyance is charming and responded, "Moral support, I guess." She didn't complain much after that, because she understood. There were things still in this house from before the war; before complete destruction of the home they both loved; before everything Peeta had known was snatched away from him and replaced with total fear.<p>

He had returned to District 12 on the first day of spring. Katniss was still a hollow shell of herself when she saw him planting the Primrose in front of her porch that day. She was still afraid of him in some regard, and he of her. But with each passing day they began to rebuild what they had lost. No, they had began to build something entirely their own. Something not based off simply surviving, but off of their hope for themselves and each other. The hope that all they had suffered and lost was not in vain. The hope that they could do better for those that they love.

And now it was December. Katniss could hear the wind from down here, whipping the fresh snow around and around in a rush, as if it all needed to come down today, or it never would.

"Peeeeta." Katniss groaned. She was so terribly bored and she could hear him struggling with the heavier boxes.

"I'm almost finished!" He puffed back. She rolled her eyes and got up from her post and walked down the remainder of the steps. They had been down here over an hour, Katniss just sitting while listening to the sounds of cardboard sliding against tile, shallow breaths desperate for a respite. Or assistance in her opinion. A sly grin reached her face when she saw him: his hands were on his hips as he was bent over trying to catch his breath. It always made her smile seeing him like this. So many memories of the Boy with the Bread in top shape, his muscles flexing through his shirt as he would show her and Haymitch the proper way to do a push-up. And those muscles were still there; almost larger now that he was abandoning adolescence. But he was far from in shape these days, and honestly, who could blame him? She wasn't so tip top herself.

"You need help." She said, making him jump from her nearness.

"I am fine."

"Bullshit. What needs to go up?" He sighed and shook his head, doing his best to hide his smile.

"Katniss Everdeen, you are some kind of pain in my ass, you know that?"

"I take pride in that." She looked into the deep ocean blue's that were his eyes and lost herself in them for a moment. That warmth was beginning to spread through her veins as the intensity of his gaze hit her. He took a step closer as she took one back, her body meeting the wall.

"I don't need any of it." He said softly. She was still lost in him, still so completely enamored that she was barely able to register his voice.

"Okay." He was before her now, his calloused hands, those hands that had made so many cakes and breads, had painted a million canvases, those hands that so often make her fall over the peaks of pleasure, were cupping her face now.

"Everything I need is right here. Just you. Ok?" His voice was shaking and she placed her hand over his own, which was shaking too.

"Did you find something, Peeta? Talk to me." The ocean was shut off from her as his eyes shut and he began to shake his head.

"It doesn't matter. I have you." His smile was weak and she knew he was lying to her, something they swore to never do to each other, but she let him have this, because she could always sense when he needed a little more kindness from her. She pressed her lips to his softly and led him up the stairs. They put their coats and boots on quickly then walked through the heavy snow back to her house.

She watched him curiously for the rest of the day. He was fairly quiet, spending a few hours painting before he seemed to become distracted by something. She was sharpening her arrows in the kitchen when she looked up and saw him staring aimlessly out the window. Searching for something. Or someone. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders as his body began to shake and the sobs left his throat. They stayed like this until the sky went dark and the whistling snow turned to a calm dusting.

Katniss sat up in bed that night while Peeta slept. His face was still distressed even in his slumber; something telling her that something was terribly, terribly wrong. She didn't want to leave him, knowing that the only way either of them could sleep even in the slightest without a nightmare was if the other was beside them, but she had to know what he had seen. Had to know what had taken him to this lonely place in a time where they were finally beginning to prosper. She slipped from the bed and dressed quickly and quietly. She stood in the doorway and watched him for a moment, making sure she had not woken him.

She ran across the street to Peeta's house, the door unlocked because why should they need to lock it when no one lived there and no one who was still in District 12 had any reason to steal form them? She turned on the lights and slipped into the basement, the lonely and abandoned feel of the dark room seeping into her bones. She started from the back of the room where he had first started earlier and sifted through each box. Of the six boxes she had looked through, she found nothing but old clothes that couldn't fit him anymore. She wondered if maybe they had belonged to his brothers or father, but they were all clearly from his youth. She had two boxes left, the one she had found him leaning over before they had left and one more still unopened. When she opened the box she was confused at first. It was filled with bright red and green bulbs that had hooks attached to them. Strings of small lights. A large green wreath created in imitation of pine covered in red and gold ribbons. More green, red and gold ribbons along with a shiny gold star. It wasn't until she opened the final box that she realized what this all was. There was a large green imitation pine tree inside. The memories of the town square covered in green wreaths and lights during December came back to her suddenly. The Mellark Bakery was always the most decorative of all the stores in the square, though. Each door adorned with a wreath, bright red and green lights around the store front windows. Katniss even remembered seeing a mini-tree on the store counter, little decorated cookies cut in shapes of ginger bread and snowmen underneath it. Christmas wasn't really something people of the Seam celebrated, at least not as outwardly as those of the Merchant class. Her family would light a few candles and place them in the window, maybe make a wreath if Katniss could scrape up the extra money, which was rare in the colder months when game was harder to find.

Katniss scraped her brain for a reason why this would take Peeta into a near catatonic state. She could only imagine a younger version of himself so happy during this time of year. An image of those once chubby cheeks running around singing those old holiday songs from the Dark Days, a few frosted sugar cookies in his hands. And just like that Katniss was dragging the box with the tree, which was rather heavy, up the stairs. The second box wasn't as heavy, but still a challenge. She managed to drag the two boxes into her house, making quite the ruckus and leaving a large trail. The hunter in her looked back at the trail she left in the snow and cringed. She stood in the foyer for a moment to listen, hoping she hadn't woken Peeta. Even from downstairs, her hunter-trained ears could hear his breathing, still soft in sleep.

She took the tree out the box and examined it for a few minutes, unsure what to do with it. The tree was in parts, with holes where you could connect them, and she began to wonder if it was worth it. But that little boy came back into her mind and she got to work. The tree didn't take much time, but it became a task when trying to add stealth to the mix. She tried to remember how the trees had looked to her and what they put on them. She took the lights and started to throw them around the tree. It wasn't artfully placed in the slightest, but it was the best Katniss could do. She placed one of the bulbs on a branch and was surprised when it didn't fall off. She placed them all around the tree and even threw in some of the ribbon. She wrapped the leftover lights over the fireplace and the doorway and couldn't help but feel a little proud of herself. She plugged everything in and was blinded for a moment, but felt even her spirit brighten a little bit. The living room came to life in bright green and red, looking festive and…joyful. She suddenly felt a pang in her chest, wishing her sister were here to see it. She would have loved this, as she always asked her why they couldn't have lights in their own home and it always broke Katniss' heart.

The sound of footsteps from above startled her from her thoughts.

"Katniss?" Peeta's voice was frantic and she feels guilty for leaving him to deal with a nightmare alone. She looks out the window and realizes that the sky is beginning to brighten with dawn. She had been at this all night, and the baker never fails to rise with the sun.

"I'm downstairs, Peeta!" She met him at the bottom of the steps. His hair was tousled and his eyes were bloodshot red, a sign he didn't sleep well at all.

"I was worried. You…You weren't…"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I couldn't sleep. I had something to keep me busy." He begins to notice the brightness of the living room.

"What is going on?" She takes his hand and guides him to the living room. She watches him as the emotions play out on his face. For the most part, he is stolid, but his eyes; those eyes always tell the truth.

"Please don't be mad. I just had to know what was upsetting you. And I found all this stuff and I don't know I just had this image of little Peeta being all happy and giddy with all the decorations up. I thought it would make you happy." He silently walked to the tree and sat before it, just as a child would on the morning of Christmas as they waited permission to open their gifts. He turned to her and motioned for her to join him. She sat next to him and he wrapped her in his arms.

"Christmas was my mother's favorite time of year." He said so softly. "It was the one time in the entire year where she didn't act like I completely disgusted her. When I would burn bread accidentally she wouldn't hit me, instead just pat my head and walk away. She wouldn't grimace at the decorations I would make on the cookies. She would smile, and I mean genuinely smile like the kind of smile that reaches your eyes and touches your soul, whenever she would look at this tree. This exact tree. I have no bad memories of this time of year. I would always look forward to the first snowfall, because it meant it was December and the happy time was coming." Katniss watched him, his fingers rubbing the thistles of the tree as if to make sure it didn't fade into dust. She felt her heart yearn to hold that small boy in her arms, to tell him that he deserved joy for more than 31 days. But that little boy was gone now. No, now she had him, the man that tortured boy had become. And she could hold him and comfort him now.

"Peeta, I didn't know. If I upset you—"

"No, Katniss. It is absolutely beautiful. The fact that you did this for me…it means so much. It's funny; I keep waiting for an episode to overtake me because I was so sad earlier I miss them all so much. But having you next to me. Knowing that your hands did this…it just warms my heart." He squeezed her to him tighter and she kissed his cheek, his chin, finally his lips.

"I love you, Peeta." It felt so good releasing those words from her soul. She felt ashamed at the fear she had felt for so long at verbally telling him, because the way his eyes grew wide and filled with tears of joy nearly shatters her heart. She knew he knew, he had asked her in their morbid little game many times, but never had the three words left her lips.

"I love you Katniss. More than anything." They sat like this and watched the sun rise high into the sky, the lights twinkling around them.

"Can we get a real one next year?" He whispers to her and motioning towards the tree. She doesn't know what it is, the warm timbre of his voice in her ear or the idea of them doing this again, for years to come, a tradition in her home. _Their _home. The thought fill_s_ her with a comfort she never knew she needed.


End file.
